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Sexual Boundaries for Singles

When women ask their honest questions about sexuality, the most common ones typically relate to whether certain things are right or wrong for Christian women to engage in. They want to know where the boundaries lie. Is masturbation wrong? Am I still a virgin if I’ve had oral sex? Is it wrong to read erotic novels like Fifty Shades of Grey? How far is too far to go in a datin...

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Chapter One - Free Resource

Whereas most sexuality studies for singles focus solely on purity—simply offering a “don’t do it” or “just wait” message—Sex and the Single Girl presents a broader understanding of what it means to honor God with our sexuality. This resource will equip single women to understand their sexuality, trust the Lord for redemption and healing, and stand against the cultural trends that marginalize an...

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The News and Sexual Discipleship

This summer I’ve been in my “writing cave”, spending countless hours finishing my next book about sexual discipleship, called Rethinking Sexuality. (The message of this book is challenging Christians to be grounded in biblical truth and equipping them to surrender their sexuality to God.) While I’ve been writing, the world has kept on spinning, and stories about sex cont...

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Stop "Hooking up" in Your Marriage

I just read a book by Dr. Lisa Wade called American Hookup which describes the sexual culture on college campuses. Sexual activity has been so severed from relationship that kids “hooking up” are discouraged from even talking to the person they just had sex with. One of the foundational truths about sex is that God designed it to be intertwined with spiritual and relational signific...

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Help! My Husband Annoys me.

“He slurps his soup, bites his fingernails and always leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. I expected the relational challenges of marriage, but my biggest problem is that I can barely stand to be in the same room with the man!” I wonder how many marriages are derailed by the little things. Living with someone will certainly bring out every annoying habit. Even if you know you ...

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The Good News about Fifty Shades Darker

The second installment of the Fifty Shades trilogy just hit the big screen. We’ve had this conversation before - first about the book and then about the original movie. We’ve sounded the alarm about the dangers of pornography and other forms of counterfeit intimacy. (You can read a blog about Meeting Mr. Grey, listen to a podcast about the books, or read a blog on sexual junk food....

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My Husband Isn't My Best Friend

Endless romance. Hot sex. Being best-best-best-best friends. These are just some of the idealistic hopes we pile onto marriage. There are good motivations behind each of these hopes, but let's just be real. It's probably not all going to happen. Though it is a wonderful thing to be your husband's best friend, I actually don't think that is necessary for a great marriage. In f...

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Should Christian Women March?

Yesterday, Mike and I were in downtown Denver to visit a friend in the Denver trauma hospital. On the way, we stopped by Whole Foods to get some snacks for our friends as they pass the long hours in the hospital. “Why are the streets so busy on a Saturday morning?” we asked as we checked out. “Oh, it’s the women’s march,.” the cashier answered. Another c...

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Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It

Pornography has gotten a lot of attention today as news broke of Hugh Hefner's death. Every life leaves a footprint – some larger than others. The founder of Playboy magazine has indeed left a legacy. Much of the world is celebrating the “sexual freedom” he introduced to our world. Instead, my heart grieves. I’ve seen the impact of pornography on men, women, and chil...

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What's the Purpose of Marriage?

Recently, a newly wed friend asked me this question. “What’s the purpose of marriage? Sometimes I think of it as free sex and housekeeping. Is marriage just an arrangement of living off my husband financially in exchange for taking care of a home and making meals?” From a purely pragmatic perspective, my friend is right. Marriage is an arrangement of bartering goods and ser...

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